Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Dance with the Dolly

I took a risk today. After forty-some years away from performing music, I auditioned for the university choir and was absolutely astounded to hear them say yes, they would like me to sing with them. Far freaking out!

I was raised with music. Almost every member of my family played and or sang, and I was taught piano and trumpet beginning at the age of six. I sang with the church choir, the high school choir, and my college choir as well as in several smaller groups. Then life happened and I left all the easy opportunities to warble behind, never quite finding time or energy or commitment enough to join with other voices again. Even then I had extreme performance anxiety and could not stand up alone, but I miss being surrounded by soaring voices, miss the sense of group achievement, miss the beautiful color of an alto chorus. I BELONG with the altos, where I can sing harmony and the solos can be taken by someone else. 

I have never forgotten the thrill of making a joyful noise, and so I whisper Simon and Garfunkle with my earphones, I belt Bob Seeger in the shower, and I counterpoint Annie Lennox in my kitchen. I know all of Robert Hunter’s lyrics and Linda Ronstad makes my day. I am my own best audience, and my family just has to put up with it.

Making music is joyful. It stimulates every emotion: we are “played like a violin,” “feeling the blues,” “marching to a different drum,” or any of hundreds of metaphors that compare our feelings to music. Lately it occurs to me what a wonderful gift it is for aging, to once again create the music; to add that joy back into my life at a time of increasing challenge. And so I went looking for some altos.


My knees were a’knockin’ but my toes were a’rockin’ and even if I had not made the cut, I overcame my stage fright to actually stand up and sing for someone, someone who was there to judge me.  It is so important that we do not forget to risk that no matter the outcome I am proud of me. What euphoria then to get the nod.

Sometimes the light's all shining on me.

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