Sampling! At least, that is what I am calling it now, after years and years of trying so hard to finish what I started. To be an adult about it all. It has always been a chore for me to actually take a project to its end: master's degree instead of a Ph.D., gift quilts not ready to give for years, an unframed painting on my wall for decades because I intended to add the final details. I have worked hard to overcome this disorder, this not finishing what I started, in order to run a viable business, to reap the rewards of whatever I was after, and to feel that I am being taken seriously by other "adults."
But now, as lately I have taken my own advice and started trying out things I used like to see how they might fit me now, I find it is to my advantage to be able to let go. I am only sampling, I don't need to finish anything! And so the return to classwork to finish a degree ended almost immediately with a very specific dream about driving too fast in the wrong direction; and I have spent a semester singing with a choir that was fun but not perfect, and so I am done. Just like that. It is an amazing freedom!
Sampling things in my stage of life is all about pleasure. I like the singing but will find another venue. I discovered I am a faux academic. These new insights can only help me waste less time in finding what is right for me, what most gives me pleasure. I take to heart the old saw that these are my golden years, and I will make them shine!
Comforting to know I'm not the only one with a string of unfinished things behind me! Keep going--we only have one try at this life (at least last time I looked)
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