The Conversation

When I first became interested in the issues of aging, I was in my fifties. It seemed to me that the writing was on a fast-moving wall, and I needed to read it. The topic became the gossip and a good friend and I began to explore what advice was available - certainly with the internet, there must be others concerned with the same issues who would have words of wisdom, outlines and approaches, research and information.

We were appalled to find pretty much a dead end. There were some gentle thoughts on aging from ancient Greece, verses from a few poets who survived long enough to think about it, data about housing shortages, and scary futuristic predictions from the social sciences; but mostly we found advertising.  Adverts for vanishing creams and nose jobs, jaw line removal and liposuction, crow's feet eliminators and hormones, botox and Viagra, the implication being that you can be young forever.  What a lot of horseshit!

Ten years later the internet has been transformed, retirement freeing up what seems to be hoards of us willing and eager to write about old age, the Third Stage. Others than us shared the same interests, because now hundreds of sites, most of them blogs but many of them websites from organizations that have taken up the cause of conscientious aging, vie for our attention. Boomers have done it again, populated themselves into every nook and cranny of what is now a gloriously open discussion, an easy-access support group, and a trend-setting awakening for today's marketers: the same don't-grow-old ads are still out there, but they are increasingly joined by sellers of comfortable clothes, travel destinations, and books that take us seriously.

My own small contribution to the larger conversation, how to become the Belledame, grew from a need to live an examined life and a desire to focus my energies so they would not splinter and be lost in end-of-life crashes. My techniques are Musing, or moving the body while daydreaming; Symboleering, or using metaphor and analogy to develop personal signs and symbols; and finally Simple Elegance, a developmental stage where our experience and tolerance (or lack of) begin to add up to quicker decisions, less second guessing, and more satisfactions. Simple Elegance is an easiness born from our long and intimate association with our own selves, requiring a confidence based on years of practice. It is a true benefit of the Third Stage.

experience and tolerance (or lack of) begin to add up to quicker decisions, less second guessing, and more satisfactions. Simple Elegance is an easiness born from our long and intimate association with our own selves, and when I recognize it happening, I am delighted. - See more at: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2016/04/how-our-thinking-changes-as-we-age.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TimeGoesBy+%28TIME+GOES+BY%29#sthash.5BeSq7Fm.dpuf

experience and tolerance (or lack of) begin to add up to quicker decisions, less second guessing, and more satisfactions. Simple Elegance is an easiness born from our long and intimate association with our own selves, and when I recognize it happening, I am delighted. - See more at: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2016/04/how-our-thinking-changes-as-we-age.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TimeGoesBy+%28TIME+GOES+BY%29#sthash.5BeSq7Fm.dpuf

experience and tolerance (or lack of) begin to add up to quicker decisions, less second guessing, and more satisfactions. Simple Elegance is an easiness born from our long and intimate association with our own selves, and when I recognize it happening, I am delighted. - See more at: http://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2016/04/how-our-thinking-changes-as-we-age.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TimeGoesBy+%28TIME+GOES+BY%29#sthash.5BeSq7Fm.dpuf