Wasn't That A Time?

Where’s Dick Nixon when you need him? It seems now a halcyon time, a time when lying, cheating, criminal government officials could actually be sent to jail.

In 1972, I sat drinking morning coffee in the student union at Ohio State University and noticed a 4-column-inch buried news item in the school newspaper: Watergate Burglers May Have Connections to Administration.

Five men had been arrested inside the Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate Building, tapping phones and such. They were Virgilio González, Bernard Barker, James McCord, Eugenio Martínez, and Frank Sturgis, who were charged with attempted burglary and attempted interception of telephone and other communications. Baker’s and Martinez’s address books both listed E. Howard Hunt, an ex CIA officer working for the Nixon Administration in a later-revealed clandestine group called the Plumbers along with ex CIA officer McCord, the Security Coordinator for the Committee to Reelect the President (CREEP). 

OMG! I can’t remember ever being so excited about a news story. Caught the MoFos redhanded! Nixon and his band of merry thieves were outed over the next two years for multiple abuses of power, resulting in articles of impeachment and the resignation of Nixon as President of the United States on August 9, 1974, and the indictment of 69 people, with 25 being found guilty and incarcerated, many of whom were Nixon's top administration officials. In addition to the burglers themselves:

John N. Mitchell,Attorney General of the United States who resigned to become Director of Committee to Re-elect the President, convicted of perjury about his involvement in the Watergate break-in. Served 19 months of a one- to four-year sentence.

Jeb Stuart Magruder, Deputy Director of Committee to Re-elect the President, pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to the burglary, and was sentenced to 10 months to four years in prison, of which he served 7 months before being paroled.

H. R. Haldeman, Chief of Staff for Nixon, convicted of conspiracy to the burglary, obstruction of justice, and perjury. Served 18 months in prison.

John Ehrlichman, Counsel to Nixon, convicted of conspiracy to the burglary, obstruction of justice, and perjury. Served 18 months in prison.

John W. Dean III, Counsel to Nixon, convicted of obstruction of justice, later reduced to felony offenses and sentenced to time already served, which totaled 4 months. (He was the main squeal.)

Charles W. Colson, Special Counsel to Nixon, convicted of obstruction of justice. Served 7 months in Federal Maxwell Prison.

G. Gordon Liddy, Special Investigations Group, convicted of masterminding the burglary, original sentence of up to 20 years in prison. Served 4½ years in federal prison.

E. Howard Hunt, Security Consultant, convicted of masterminding and overseeing the burglary, original sentence of up to 35 years in prison. Served 33 months in prison.

(Thank you Wikipedia)

In further fond memories, of the myriad conspiracy theories that have populated the last 40 years, I am particularly fond of the one put forward, after a hundred hours of interviews with the incarcerated Mitchell, by Leonard Colodny and Robert Gettlin in their book Silent Coup. It alleges that Dean masterminded the Watergate burglary, using Nixon's dirty-tricks squad the Plumbers, to get the call-girl address book that listed his then girlfriend Maureen (gorgeous wife Mo, seen sitting faithfully behind him through all his testimony to the investigative committee); that Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward, one of the reporters instrumental in exposing the Watergate conspiracy, was a CIA plant; and that former White House chief of staff Alexander Haig orchestrated the “silent coup” that removed Richard Nixon from office. Perhaps Nixon and his aides didn't know a thing about this particular "dirty trick" and were, ironically, deep-sixed themselves. 

Has a nice ring to it.